THE COLOUR, BLACK

Colour plays a very important role in our lives.  It has great influence and plays with our moods and feelings.  It has tremendous power over our perception of things and how we view the world.  Even our language has used colour to drive home a point or use colour to give a graphic description or emphasis.  Colour affects emotions and plays a big part how people behave and perceive the world.  Generally, colour and its effects cuts across race and culture.

The colour, black, invoke in many of us, especially those who are a generation older than us, a sense of uneasiness and a feeling of foreboding.  We wear black when someone dies.  Black projects and portrays ominous and portentous situations.  When we see black clouds we know a storm is approaching.  It has grim and sinister connotations and this is reflected in how we use the word “black” in idioms to express the negatives in our relationship with the world.  When a black cat crosses our paths we feel a sense of dread.

Milton Friedman, the renowned economist who won the Nobel Prize for Economics postulates that the black market was a way of getting around government controls. It was a way of enabling the free market to work. It was a way of opening up, enabling (empowering) people.

My neighbour has three children.  All, except youngest one, are professionals of high standing in society.  The black sheep of the family values life as a vagabond without the restrictions of being part of the system society imposes.

William Tan, a close friend of mine, took a flight to London with the intention to seek employment without a work visa.  Upon arrival, he was stopped and denied entry at the immigration control counter.  He was kept in a holding area for deportation.  He has been put on a black list and his passport was stamped “BLI” or “Black Listed Immigrant”.

Terence Ng is the Marketing Director for a multi-national company the past ten years.  He worked hard to reach his position.  However, he has a dark secret.  For the past five years he has been receiving kickbacks for some large contracts.  Unfortunately, a colleague has discovered his little secret and has started to blackmail him for a cut of the ill-gotten gain.

Cinderella ran from the house as the wicked and black-hearted witch started to invoke her spells.  In her haste, she lost a shoe without realising it.

Kim is a political satirist and has a knack for seeing through the wiles of dishonest and self-interest politicians.  She used her god given talent to inject some black humour in her caricatures of these high profile politicians.

Tim and his good friend, David loves the outdoors during summer.  Both, at twelve are precocious youngsters who like the rough and tumble games of football and rugby.  After a game, they would come home laughing though suffering black and blue over most of their bodies.

There was an explosion at the power plant supplying electricity to Ipoh City.  As a result, the city experienced a total black-out since two days ago.  The engineers are still trying to fix the problem.

“LITTLE NAPOLEONS”

If you know your history you will know who Napoleon is and why he is iconic in the type of behaviour he has been ascribed and so famous for.

The phrase “Little Napoleons” are frequently used to describe pompous, pretentious and puff-up public officials, who, after being conferred with some delegated power, proceed to take upon themselves to flex their authority and power when carrying out their public duties.

The Little Napoleon and The Grizzly Old Farmer

An inspector from the Ministry of Agriculture pulled up along the road next to the grizzly old farmer’s farm house.  With a look of self-importance and arrogance he flashed his authority card and told the old farmer that he needed to inspect his farm.

The old farmer, pointing towards a field adjacent to his farm house, said, “Ok, but don’t go into that field surrounded by fences painted in red.”

The official, with a disdain stare, replied haughtily, “I have been given the power and the authority by the Government to go and inspect wherever I wish.”

Without saying another word, the old farmer went about his daily chores.

Before long, he heard loud screams and shrieks coming from the direction where he had specifically told the official not to go.  He looked up and saw the man was running and panting furiously towards the fence with the old farmer’s prized bull inches away.  The snorting bull was madder than a disturbed nest of killer bees.   With four legs running at full throttle, the bull is gaining fast on the official for every step taken by him.

Chuckling, the old farmer shouted, “Quick, quick, show him your authority card…”

(A humorous tale that many of us can relate to in our dealings with public officials but in real life endings are seldom happy or humorous.)

“IT AIN’T OVER TILL THE FAT LADY SINGS”

Occasionally, someone blurts out the colloquial expression “It ain’t over till the fat lady sings”or “It isn’t over till the fat lady sings”.  How many have heard of the phrase and wonder what it means.  It is a commonly used expression to denote that an event is not over till the occurrence of another event.

Who is the fat lady?  No one really knows.

How did this phrase come about?  The origin is fuzzy and can only be inferred.  Three unrelated areas seem to have caused the birth of this phrase, German Opera, American Sports and Churches in the Southern States.

The musical opera connection lies in the overly long four-opera Ring Cycle performance of Richard’s Wagner Götterdämmerung which can drag upwards of fourteen hours.  Near the end of the opera performance a well-endowed lady would appear during the last ten minutes to conclude the performance.  The off quoted answer to the frequent question – when will it end? – comes the tired answer of “till the fat lady sings”.

The American side of the connection to this expression comes from a writer and sports commentator who said “the opera ain’t over till the fat lady sings” in a commentary of a televised basketball game in1978.

In the Southern States of the US, “it ain’t over till the fat lady sings the blues” and also “church ain’t out till the fat lady sings” have been reported, the latter recorded in the book “Southern Words and Sayings” in 1976.

Wherever it started or by who seems unimportant, as this expression enriches and adds flavour in our usage of the English Language.

Nature or Nurture?

The Sober View

How many of you have heard of the great “Nature or Nurture” debate? If you have big beautiful eyes like your mother or jet black hair like your father, science recognised that these physical attributes are hereditary. These are from your genes. However, if you have a voice that take you to the top in “American Idol” or an acting talent that make you a Hollywood star, where did these talents come from? While it is quite established that physical characteristics are hereditary, the genetic footprint gets a bit murky when it comes to a person's behaviour, intelligence and personality.

It is an age-old argument of how much of what we are is shaped by Nature i.e. our DNA and how much is determined by our life experiences or Nurture. Even though scientists agree that nature endows us with inborn abilities and traits; nurture takes these genetic tendencies and molds them as we learn and mature, it seems this debate rages on without respite. You may ask what this fuss is all about.

The implications may be consequential in how we view and understand a person’s behaviour. If there are “behavioural genes” encoded in us, arguments could be put forth that we are not in control of our actions or behaviour. It can be used to justify criminal acts or a pre-disposition to violence and even a person’s sexual orientation. So, the debate continues fiercely – “Were we born that way?”

The Lighter Side

HOW MUCH OF WHAT YOU ARE, ARE SHAPED BY THINGS ONLY A MOM CAN TEACH YOU……….

My Mother taught me about:

ANTICIPATION: "Just wait until your father gets home."

RECEIVING: "You are going to get it when we get home!"

SEX: "How do you think you got here?"

GENETICS: "You're just like your father."

MY ROOTS: "Do you think you were born in a barn?"

WISDOM OF AGE: "When you get to be my age, you will understand."

JUSTICE: "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you. Then you'll see what it's like."

TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

CONTORTIONISM: "Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

STAMINA: "You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished."

WEATHER: "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

HYPOCRISY: "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times: Don't Exaggerate!!!"

ENVY: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION: "Stop acting like your father!"

THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS: "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My Mother taught me to:

MEET A CHALLENGE: "What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you... Don't talk back to me!"

THINK AHEAD: "If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

My mother taught me:

LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why."

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

MEDICAL SCIENCE: "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

ESP: "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"

THE CIRCLE OF LIFE: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

HUMOUR: "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

RELIGION: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

FORESIGHT: "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

IRONY: "Keep crying and I'll *give* you something to cry about."

My Mother taught me how to:

BECOME AN ADULT: "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

SOLVE PHYSICS PROBLEMS: "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?

WORDS OF WISDOM ON MARRIAGE FROM ASTUTE AND INSIGHTFUL MEN & WOMEN

To the married folks, you may find this amusing and with a pinch of truth…

To those intending to get married this may be preview of what to expect and some words of wisdom to take note of!

Describing marriage, an ordinary man in the street once told this story. Marriage is like a big mysterious mansion or castle. All those who have not been inside long to enter its gates but those who have entered and are inside find all means to escape.

Read on and be enlightened…..

“When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.”

Sacha Guitry

“After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.”

Hemant Joshi

“By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.”

Socrates

“Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.”

Dumas

“The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?”

Sigmund Freud

“I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.”

Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Henny Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."

Patrick Murray

“Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.”

Nash

“The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...”

Anonymous

“You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.”

Henny Youngman

“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.”

Rodney Dangerfield

“A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.”

Milton Berle

“Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.”

Anonymous

“A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."”

Anonymous

“First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."”

Anonymous

When Insults Had Class

Glorious insults from an era before the English Language became crude, vulgar and uncouth when people started spicing their lack of verbal skills with 4-letter words:

The exchange between Sir Winston Churchill and Lady Astor:

She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."

He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

Winston Churchill

The exchange between George Bernard Shaw and Sir Winston Churchill:

George Bernard Shaw: "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one."

Sir Winston Churchill: "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second .... if there is one."

A brief profile for those too young to remember or who hate history

Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill a.k.a “the Bulldog” (30 November 1874 – 24 January 1965), was a British politician and statesman known for his leadership of the United Kingdom during the Second World War. He is widely regarded as one of the great wartime leaders. He served as Prime Minister twice (1940–45 and 1951–55). Known for his wit and sharp tongue, a noted statesman and orator, Churchill was also an officer in the British Army, a historian, a writer, and an artist. To date, he is the only British prime minister to have received the Nobel Prize in Literature, and he was the first person to be made an honorary citizen of the United States. (Courtesy of Wikipedia)